When I first entered into a relationship with God my life radically changed. It felt new, positive, uplifting. I looked forward to the adventure of this life and the one to come.

Yet, by the time I’d finished seminary it’d gone south. Sounds strange I know, but I was filled with doubts and worries. My spiritual life had become a nightmare.

Photo Credit: Tommy Clark

One incident epitomizes this.

While having lunch with another student one afternoon, I asked him, “So do you believe a person can lose his salvation?”

“Absolutely,” he responded. “If he sins and hasn’t asked for forgiveness he would lose it.”

“Really,” I asked. “So let’s say I’m driving home after classes and a hot looking girl is walking down the sidewalk wearing a tight miniskirt and I have just the smallest lustful thought about her.”

I know you’re shocked thinking that could never possibly happen to someone in seminary.

“So I’m distracted, run a red light and get broadsided killing me instantly. Am I going to Heaven?”

“Nope.”

Yikes, no wonder I felt depressed and frankly couldn’t wait to graduate.

I felt trapped. I couldn’t go back to my old way of life and I was suffocating in the new.

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