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How to Feel Loved When You Feel Most Alone

February 13, 2017 by

Do you ever just feel alone?  Maybe you’ve lost a loved one or are struggling through a challenge.

When surrounded by family and friends you feel loved.  But when they’re gone that loneliness bites again.

I’ve certainly felt that.  I think we all do.

At a time I felt very alone, I asked God to bring me into a relationship with him and I immediately felt his indescribable  love.

Sure I’ve felt lonely at times since then.  Yet I can honestly say, in the midst of those times I’ve truly felt God’s presence the most.

David prayed, “I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.”*

In those alone times, when you wake up, you can feel the most overpowered.   Yet, in that moment is when you can feel God’s presence the most.

You may still feel the pangs of loneliness of course, but feeling God’s love will get you through it and that will be enough for today.

*Psalm 17:15 (NIV)

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How to Uncover the Miracle Life

February 8, 2017 by

I’m amazed at the miracle of my life.

I think back to the dead end road I walked in college.  Frustrated, alone, depressed, running chaotically to find elusive happiness.

Yet, out of that confusion to find my wife and be blessed with our children astounds me.  The prosperity we’ve been blessed with even after so many years of financial struggle amazes me.  And to think that after all these years the journey today is the best and keeps growing better.

The miracle began when I stopped running away from God and chose to walk to him.

The Psalmist wrote, “You have made known to me the path of life, you fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”*

He offers you a clear path even when life seems confused.  Joy when it makes more sense to feel depressed.  His presence when you feel most alone.  And the comfort that all of this grows better not only now but forever.

*Psalm 16: 11 (NIV)

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An Inauguration Day Prayer

January 24, 2017 by

(First Posted on Facebook)

“Lord on this Inauguration Day help us to pause long enough to remember:

First, to give you thanks that we live in a country where we get to choose our political leaders. Every fours years we are reminded of that when we have a peaceful transfer of power. Most of the world looks on in amazement at that transition.

Second, to pray for our leaders whether we agree with them or not. They may be godly or not but you can direct their steps and minds as we pray.

Third, to remember to focus our trust on you not on political institutions. You are always dependable, they are not.

Fourth, to love each other with patience, respect and kindness. It is time we move forward from this divisive period and deepened our relationships with those we love, even those we disagree with. Only in that love will we glorify you and bring richness to life.

Amen.”

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What to Do When Love Explodes and You Can’t Restore It (Part 3)

January 3, 2017 by

beach-couple

 

We looked previously at what to do when a relationship explodes and you can’t restore it.

But what happens when finding peace proves impossible?

Some years ago I had a friendship completely melt down with deep hurts on both sides.  Yet, we saw each other regularly because of circumstances we couldn’t avoid.

I tried to reconcile the relationship but this friend was having none of it.  Often my attempts were met with rejection or sometimes retaliation.  This would then elicit somewhat less than exemplary reactions from me.

There were times I would see him and say hi only to have him turn around and walk away without response.

Sometimes I could separate myself from him physically.  I just avoided him and that worked pretty well.

If I couldn’t avoid him I’d mentally separate telling myself it didn’t matter.  That worked often too.

Then he’d blind side me with something new that would leave me stunned for a day or two.

 

No matter what I tried I just couldn’t find a place of peace in the relationship.

 

[Read more…]

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What to Do When Love Explodes and You Can’t Restore It (Part 2)

December 20, 2016 by

beach-couple

 

Last post we talked about how, when a friendship or marriage explodes, at some point you need to move on in peace.

But what about when you’re continually forced to interact with that other person and the hurting cycle won’t stop?

An acquaintance recently mentioned his struggle with this.  He’s divorced and shares custody of his children with his ex-wife.  So they constantly interact and often negatively.

 

From the little I know, he tried to keep their relationship together but she wanted to move on and did after child three.  Seems like a strange time to figure out you can’t live with your husband but I’m not here to judge.

When they interact now, they often have conflict.  One is late to pick up or return the kids.  One has to change the day because of an emergency.  One wants money for something for the kids the other doesn’t see the need for.

The list goes on and on and they’re both stuck in this relationship of hurt.  The scabs are continually ripped off the old injuries and new wounds are opened up.

 

It leaves both feeling continually hurt and angry.

 

[Read more…]

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What to Do When Love Explodes and You Can’t Restore It (Part 1)

December 6, 2016 by

beach-couple

 

A friend and I got cross ways and our relationship exploded.

We worked together in a nonprofit and shared camaraderie as well friendship.  Yet, in our leadership positions we often collided.  Our friendship fractured and it seemed no matter what we did it grew worse.

 

One of us would feel hurt and sometimes respond in less than exemplary fashion.  That caused hurt in the other who often responded in kind.  So it spiraled out of control leaving us both feeling angry, frustrated and hurt.

On several occasion, when calmed down, I tried to rectify the hurts and apologized.  It seemed like some of those overtures were also misunderstood.  They consistently were met with a lack of any kind of positive response.

 

The relationship simply wouldn’t reconcile and to this day still hasn’t.

 

I had fresh evidence of that again only recently. [Read more…]

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Rediscovering Love in a Marriage That’s Grown Stale

July 12, 2016 by

Let’s be honest, after decades of marriage it can grow a little less than exciting at times.  Going to work, raising kids, elderly parents and sick pets often leaves little time to enjoy the one you once passionately loved.

 

Walking together

 

Jennifer and I, after 40 years of marriage, seemed of late to be getting on each others nerves a bit.  We went through six years of taking care of her aging parents that left us little reserve for each other.

So the little things mounted up.

I’m a perfectionist.  Jennifer can let the small things slide.

She doesn’t sweat the small stuff.  I can sweat the smallest of stuff and turn it into big stuff.

Because of that she can seem at times like she’s not paying attention to some of the important details.

That makes me crazy sometimes because I pay attention to all the details even details that I probably really didn’t need to pay attention to.

Anyway, you get the idea, and I’m pretty sure you could add your own illustrations.

 

But at times it can leave us wondering, “Who is this person I married?  What was I thinking?”

 

[Read more…]

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How to Overcome the Tyranny of Religion to Find God

May 24, 2016 by

When I entered into this relationship with God I discovered a peace and joy I’d never experienced before.  At times I could feel God with me in a way that I simply can’t describe.

After college graduation I decided to go to seminary.  I thought, “Surely I’ll grow a lot closer to God by going to seminary.  I’ll study about that relationship full time.  What could be better?”

 

Studying books

 

The first seminary I attended focused primarily on two things.  First, why the Bible couldn’t be trusted and second how social action was paramount.

It left me feeling bewildered and adrift so I left.

The next seminary I attended focused on the Bible and applying it in personal piety.  Sounded great at first but the subtle message became, “Here are the rules.  To the degree you follow them God will bless you.  To the degree you fail He won’t.”

 

I became overwhelmed with the tyranny of trying to please God.

 

[Read more…]

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Quora Post: “What is the Best Marriage Advice You Could Give?”

April 26, 2016 by

I’m over at Quora today answering that question.

“Let’s be honest, after you’ve been married for several years some of the new car smell can wear off. I mean, you drift into the same routine every day and begin to wonder,“What happened to all the excitement?”. . . .”

To read the rest please join me here.

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Discovering Encouragement in the Midst of Our Most Difficult Struggles

March 30, 2016 by

As we looked at in the previous post, sometimes we all face struggles when it just seems like God has left on vacation. I mean we’re struggling with something really tough yet it seems like God has deserted us doesn’t it?

It leaves us feeling frustrated and angry at God as well as very alone.

Yet, from a story about Jesus which we looked at, we saw when the people proactively sought Jesus out it changed their trajectory.

I love what the story then says, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”*

Wow, suddenly Jesus focuses completely on them. Wouldn’t it be amazing to feel like we have that same focus from him?

Personally, I find the details of this story encouraging.

When Jesus landed he saw the crowd who’d followed him on foot. Suddenly they became the most important thing to him.

No matter what we go through we may feel all alone but we’re not. Jesus sees us and our struggle.

Then he had compassion on them. Literally he wept with empathy.

Whatever we’re going through God weeps with empathy for us too. He loves us like a father loves his child. When his child hurts he hurts as well.

Then Jesus acted. No empty, “I feel your pain” political slogan. He no fooling got involved.

He acts in our lives as well. No matter what we’re facing he not only hurts with us but will do something about it. In fact he already is even when we don’t realize it.

Finally, Jesus healed, miraculously. His power can overcome any challenge. Friends may stand alongside us and that’s incredibly important. But Jesus can actually solve our most difficult struggles.

What could we possible go through beyond that?

 

*Matthew 14:13-14 (NIV)

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